I Bought Something Brilliant and Saved £1000

I bought something brilliant last week and, in one fell swoop, saved myself a thousand pounds. I am so delighted with this item that I have not stopped giving it sexy little sidelong glances. For something that cost just over thirty quid and arrived squashed into a plastic wrapper, it is bringing me a surprising amount of joy.

I’m not supposed to be buying anything at all at the moment because I have a new project on the horizon (don’t ask) that is financially significant (argh), but during one of my pre-sleep internet “research” expeditions I came across a lovely-looking raffia bag and decided that it could possibly change my sartorial life.

Within thirty seconds I had envisaged how this raffia bag would elevate every single outfit in my wardrobe. Ignoring the fact that I actually have zero outfits in my wardrobe, because I am so shockingly bad at putting things together, I happily daydreamed about how the striped dress I wore all of last summer would suddenly look so unutterably chic with a bit of raffia thrown casually over my shoulder. How even just a simple athleisure look (black leggings, marl hoodie, black baseball cap, white trainers) would suddenly scream STYLE MAVEN! if I mixed it up and added in a bit of wicker.

This bag, with its lovely neutral vibe and its leather handles, would offer me the perfect accessory solution for fair-weather dressing. I’d look effortlessly polished in absolutely anything I threw on, which to be fair is quite limited considering I don’t like wearing: garments with a waistband that dents my skin, anything that’s restrictive around the ribcage, items that have any sort of seam around the gusset and fabrics that are too stiff, too shiny, too fluffy or that give me electric shocks.

Regardless, this bag would answer all of my fashion needs, I was sure of it.

But then I clicked on the bag and saw the price for this non-leather accessory: £1,045! And that was for the medium version! MADE FROM BITS OF A PALM TREE! It’s virtually crafted from garden waste!

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I don’t know why I was even shocked (you can find it online here if you’re ridiculously flush and fancy wanging a grand-and-a-bit on a bag made from dried-up leaves) because all designer bags now are at least five times the price I think they’re going to be. (I still tell people about the Miu Miu shoulder bag I bought in Selfridges when I was modelling: it was £325 and that felt like an outrageous extravagance.) I’m not saying it’s not lovely, I just can’t help thinking that someone, somewhere, is having an absolute laugh.

Anyway, like I said, I bought something brilliant and saved myself a grand. And I’m not saying that this is as good or as beautiful as the YSL, or anywhere remotely near being a “dupe” - it’s not even made from leaves, it’s made from paper! - but I have chucked it around all over the place, left it under pub tables and used it to carry crabbing lines and also an inadvisable amount of grocery shopping that almost destroyed it and, overall, it has completely scratched the itch.