Why Do I Hate Sport/s?

Is it because I'm sh*t at them?

There’s something I’ve been wondering about myself for years and years and it is this: why do I hate sport/s? It’s not just the doing of the sport, whatever it might be, it’s the talking about of the sport and the watching of the sport and the listening to of the sport. (?) The word itself. SPORT. It makes me feel queasy. I especially dislike the fact that the words “sport” and “sports” seem to be interchangeable with no discernible rule as to their usage.

Now look, I know I’m risking life and limb saying all of this, because sport/s is/are the biggest thing in the world after eating and sex. (Probably more popular than sex. I don’t know, someone would have to do a poll.) And I’m not at all trying to throw shade at people who enjoy sports – I also have the utmost respect for the talented and very dedicated people who take part in them – I’m more interested in trying to find out what events triggered my phobia.

Ironic title to this shot. I only chose it because it had the word “sport” in it, but you wouldn’t be playing many games in those heels!

OK, phobia is possibly a little too strong, but please consider the following evidence before dismissing it altogether: